Mandelo at Work

britmandelo @ 2013-05-14T11:13:00

2013-05-14T15:14:03Z

For my birthday, I did a lot of squats.

I also went for a sushi dinner after the gym and then finally splurged to buy myself an iPod Nano. Though I have a smartphone, the headphone jack stopped working shortly after I got it, so I've been without portable music for a long while. This is becoming excessively irritating as I try to run more and could use the distraction of music. So, I went for it. Now the problem is that I have far more music than can fit on a 16gig device and must pick and choose.

But hey, the squats went particularly well. I seem to have hit a stride where I'm consistently improving and am able to execute with fully correct form a good 75-80% of the time, and close-to-correct the rest of the time. (I have a habit of leaning slightly to the right, because that hip is tighter and I favor it a bit without noticing. We're working on fixing that, or at least getting me to where I can tell when I'm doing it.)

britmandelo @ 2013-05-11T01:03:00

2013-05-11T05:03:06Z

It's the second week of the three-day-split, and effectively the first time I've hit a deadlift weight that proved challenging. (I, ah, jumped 20lbs.) We're doing a little further form work with that heavier deadlift, too. I had great hopes of doing the full run this week, but the deadlifts knocked me for a bit of a loop today.

Monday
12:30min treadmill --> 1min 5.8mph, 11:30min 3.5mph
4x7 squat, 55lbs
3x6 hanging knee raise
3x10 box jump (8-9")
2x15 calf raise
2x15 reverse calf raise
3x10 leg extensions, 70lbs
3x10 leg curl, 50lbs
2x10 wrist curls, 7.5lbs DB
2x10 reverse wrist curls, 7.5lbs DB
1x10 kettlebell swings, 10lbs
1x11, 2x6 kettlebell swings, 20lbs

Wednesday
12:30min treadmill, all 3.5mph [sick, with chest congestion]
1x7, 2x8 bench press, 80lbs [and here, the little muscle between my pointer and middle fingers went NOPE]
1x10 dumbbell bench press, 15lbs
4x10 shoulder press, 17.5lbs
1x7 dumbbell bench press, 17.5lbs
3x8 pullovers, 15lbs
3x6 chest dips, 100lbs resistance
3x8 shrugs, 17.5lbs DB
3x7 lying triceps extensions, 10lbs DB
3x8 cable pulldown, 70lbs
3x8 rear delt row, 10lbs DB
2x10, 1x6 incline bench press, 47.5lbs

Friday
12:30min treadmill --> 2x1min 5.8mph, rest 3.5mph
2x7, 2x8 deadlift, 95lbs
3x5 pull-ups, 100lbs resistance
3x8 compound row, 80lbs
3x8 incline curls, 12.5lbs DB
3x10 crunch
3x5 roman twists

And we called it there, unfortunately. I was too exhausted to continue. I also walked three miles or so on Thursday.

britmandelo @ 2013-05-08T10:42:00

2013-05-08T14:42:23Z

Goals for the summer include:

(1) Get all of my major lifts (bench, deadlift, squat) into the triple digits.
(2) Write at least 2 pieces of short fiction.
(3) Finish Visa application process/pack house/prepare for move to the UK generally.
(4) Get down to my goal weight (165lbs).
(5) Start writing an article, any article.

A little bit of writing, a little bit of fitness stuff, and a touch of "major life changes." It seems like a well rounded list to me.

*

Books Read 2013

28. "Ghost Spin" by Chris Moriarty

[review forthcoming]

29. "Starting Strength: 3rd Edition" by Mark Rippetoe

A very, very handy book for folks who are into lifting and want some technical assistance. Not everything he says is great--as is true of more or less all fitness books--but there's some excellent troubleshooting stuff in here, plus lots of body science and in-depth explanations of mechanics.

30. "Strength Training Anatomy" by Frederic Delavier

This has color diagrams, and was cheap and small. Mostly, I like the color diagrams of muscle groups recruited, etc. (I found it at a Half Price Books for a couple of bucks. It's not worth much more than that, especially if you have other, better reference material.)

1. "Transgender History" by Susan Stryker
2. "Origin of Species" by Charles Darwin; abridged by Phillip Appleman
3. "Female Masculinity" by J. Jack Halberstam
4. "Blood Oranges" by Kathleen Tierney
5. "Piled Higher and Deeper, Volume 1" by Jorge Cham
6. "A Draft of XXX Cantos" by Ezra Pound
7. "A Perfect Blood" by Kim Harrison
8. "Ever After" by Kim Harrison
9. "The Time Machine" H. G. Wells
10. "The Island of Doctor Moreau" by H. G. Wells
11. "Spring and All" by William Carlos Williams
12. "The Waste Land" by T. S. Eliot (Norton Critical Edition)
13. "Piled Higher and Deeper, Volume 2" by Jorge Cham
14. "In a Queer Time and Place: Transgender Bodies, Subcultural Lives" by J. Jack Halberstam
15. "Tender Buttons" by Gertrude Stein
16. "Reinventing Africa: Museums, Material Culture and Popular Imagination" by Annie E. Coombes [selections for class]
17. "Queen Victoria's Book of Spells" edited by Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling
18. "Missionary Travels" by David Livingstone
19. "Shattered Pillars" by Elizabeth Bear
20. "The Ocean at the End of the Lane" by Neil Gaiman
21. "The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction," Jan/Feb & March/April, edited by Gordon van Gelder
22. "Cane" by Jean Toomer
23. "She" by H. Rider Haggard
24. " The Little Magazine Others and the Renovation of Modern American Poetry" by Suzanne Churchill
25. "I, Pierre Riviere, Having Slaughtered My Mother, My Sister, and My Brother…: A Case of Parricide in the 19th Century" edited by Michel Foucault
26. "Spin State" by Chris Moriarty
27. "Spin Control" by Chris Moriarty
28. "Ghost Spin" by Chris Moriarty
29. "Starting Strength: 3rd Edition" by Mark Rippetoe
30. "Strength Training Anatomy" by Frederic Delavier

britmandelo @ 2013-05-05T11:22:00

2013-05-05T15:22:31Z

This is about the six month point of my training journey. And, in that six months, I've gone from being a person who was sure that past injuries, chronic pain, and poor skeletal composition would keep me low-mobility, low-energy, and inactive forever--a person who couldn't physically manage to run, or swim, or anything--to a person who's more fit than the average for my body type and age. Surprise, too: much of my pain is gone. It's still not perfect, but man, am I glad I finally ended up with a physical therapist who was willing to be straight with me--to tell me that I was going to suffer through it for the first while, but that I would never feel good again unless I tried to build strength and fitness.

And I do feel good. I feel kind of amazing, actually.

It's hard to talk about fitness/body/etc without sounding self-absorbed or self-congratulatory, but I wanted to give it a shot, because I had no idea for so long how beneficial fitness would be. Daily back pain? Gone. Aching joints with occasional stabbing-pains? For the most part, gone. Feelings of listlessness, exhaustion, anxiety, and depression? Far more manageable. And I feel more alive overall.

That's not even mentioning what I can do now that I couldn't do before. I still can't run worth a damn--but three minute sprints and interval training are a world away from where I started, unable to even jog without pain. I worked hard to be able to pick up the 35lb small bar at the beginning, and now I bench press 80lbs for my four sets of seven. I couldn't do an air squat for months, and now I've got the bar on my back and weight on the bar. It's the little things, too, like the abrupt bulge of muscle that's developed around my thumb joint, the deadlift bruises on my knees, the calluses on my palms, or the definition lines cropping up here, there, and everywhere around a newly developing physique.

Totally worth it. I'm curious where I'll be in another six months--able to do a full body-weight pull-up, maybe? (I wish. It's certainly a goal.)

britmandelo @ 2013-05-03T18:47:00

2013-05-03T22:47:30Z

First three-day split week! As previously noted, I'm adjusting to the increased workload and loss of rest days--so, these aren't quite what the full routines will be when I've geared up and my stamina has developed more.

Monday
12:30min treadmill --> 2x1min 5.8mph, 10:30min 3.5mph
3x9, 1x6 squats 50lbs
4x6 hanging knee raise
~30 box jumps
4x10 leg extensions 65lbs
4x10 leg curls 45lbs
2x15 reverse calf raise
2x15 calf raise
1x10 incline bench curls, 12.5lbs DB
1x6 half-again curls (21s), 12.5lbs DB
2x6 half-again curls (21s), 10lbs DB
2x8 overhand wrist curls, 7.5lbs
2x8 underhand wrist curls, 7.5lbs
4x8 triceps cross-face extension

Wednesday
12:30 treadmill --> 2min 5.8mph, 10:30 3.5mph
4x10 shoulder press, 15lbs DB
4x7 bench press, 80lbs [last 3 reps on final set were weak/assisted by spotter to varying degrees though]
4x6 chest dip, 100lbs resistance
2x7 incline bench 57.5lbs, 2x7 47.5lbs
4x8 pullovers 12.g lbs DB
4x8 rear delt row, 10lbs DB

[Things missing: upright row, shrug.]

Friday
12:30 treadmill --> 1:30min 5.8mph, 11min 3.5mph
4x7 deadlift, 75lbs
2x5 pullups 100lbs resistance, 1x5 120lbs res.
3x10 compound row, 80lbs
3x8 hyperextensions, hands on head
3x10 crunches
3x10 lying leg-hip raise

[Things missing: good mornings, seated leg tucks, oblique twists.]

I've also made a mild revision to the training plan, so that arms--as opposed to all being on Monday--are spread out by push/pull mechanics across the whole three days. More focused, and more targeted, that way.

britmandelo @ 2013-05-01T22:56:00

2013-05-02T02:56:12Z

Recent happenings include a Short Fiction Spotlight on Expanded Horizons, here, and a review of Chris Moriarty's Spin Control, here.

*

I've also started my new three day split, and have discovered as of--er, today--that I don't yet have the endurance or capacity to do what I'd like to do. Not having more than one rest day in between was an issue; the others, that I've added new exercises and am attempting to do four sets for each. My training partner advised me that it's going to take some time, probably a few weeks, for me to adjust to the new workload that I'm asking my body to do. I was just fatiguing, hard, by the end of the workout--and couldn't actually finish it.

But, that gives me a new set of goals. I do like goals. First, I'll try to complete the routines with three sets for all but the major lifts; then, when that's working, bump them up to four. Onward to victory, etc.

britmandelo @ 2013-04-30T14:47:00

2013-04-30T18:46:59Z

Now that it's been announced, I can post it, too--the table of contents for the forthcoming Queers Dig Time Lords, to which I am a contributor.

As follows, I will be sharing bookspace with a bunch of wonderful people:

Introduction, by John and Carole E. Barrowman
Editors’ Foreword, by Sigrid Ellis and Michael Damian Thomas
The Monster Queer is Camp, by Paul Magrs
Time, Space, Love, by Emily Asher-Perrin
Seven Ways of Looking at Captain Jack,by Mary Anne Mohanraj and Jed Hartman
Born Again Whovian, by David Llewellyn
Queer Doctor vs. Straight Trek?, by Paul Cockburn
Sub Texts: The Doctor and the Master’s Firsts and Lasts, by Amal El-Mohtar
Nice TARDIS, by Jason Tucker
The Incredibly True Adventures of an Intellectual Fan Dyke, by Sarah J. Groenewegen
Bi, Bye, by Tanya Huff
In Praise of Mature Women, or Why Donna Noble and River Song Totally Need to Call Me, by Jennifer Pelland
We’re Here, We’re Queer, Rate Us on iTunes, by Erik Stadnik
Secrets and Lies, by Scot Clarke
Long Time Companions, by Melissa Scott
Jack Harkness’s Lessons on Memory and Hope for Cranky, Old Queers, by Racheline Maltese
My Straight Best Friend, by Nigel Fairs
A Kiss from Romana: Lesbian Subtext in The Stones of Blood, by Julia Rios
Bothersome Otherness, by Martin Warren
PVC Made Me a Gay, by Gary Russell
Torchwood, Camp, and Queer Subjectivity, by Brit Mandelo
The Doctor: A Strange Love, Or: How I Learned to Stop Hating and Love the Who, by Hal Duncan
A Man is the Sum of His Memories, by Neil Chester
Spoilers: A Letter to Myself, Age 16, by Kaia Landelius
The Heterosexual Agenda, by John Richards
Hey, Mickey, You’re So Fine, by Naamen Gobert Tihaun
Mutants, Monsters, Mutts, and Mentiads, by Cody Quijano-Schell
Same Old Me, Different Face: Transition, Regeneration, and Change, by Susan Jane Bigelow
The Girl Who Waited (for the Guidance Counselor to Get to His Point), by Rachel Swirsky

britmandelo @ 2013-04-28T19:27:00

2013-04-28T23:27:28Z

Damn, do I need to get back to actually blogging instead of just posting fitness logs and reading lists and complaints about stress. So, here's five things that I've forgotten to mention or have been too busy to bother with:

(1) I've been making a sustained attempt to explore more of this city that I live in and love before I have to leave it. I've been here my whole life, but I still have a huge list of restaurants and bars and places I want to go that I've been putting off. Recent trips include:
[a] The Back Door, a bar and restaurant: I enjoyed the food a hell of a lot, as simple but well-done bar fare with homemade chips, mid-rare roast beef that melts in your mouth, fresh au jus, etc;
[b] Purrswaytions, a lesbian karaoke bar: this was fun the first week, and a bit duller the next--the crowd is small, the bar is dingy, but it's also cheap and trashy in that particular way that can be pleasant;
[c] Nowhere, a queer bar and club: this one, I loved--a group of associates and I went last night, and the scene is good (music, crowd, drinks, etc., all positive). At Nowhere, I got to dance for a long while, which was a pleasure. My usual go-to is Connection, which has drag shows and go-go dancers, but also a cover and expensive drinks; I think Nowhere might be a new spot on the map.

(2) I encountered a rogue chicken in the parking lot of our local Wal-Mart yesterday. I made a brief attempt to convince it to come to me, but it wasn't having any of that, and wandered off again. By the time we finished shopping and came out, the chicken had disappeared. There is a nice neighborhood behind the store; I suspect the chicken made its way back to one of those houses, where it likely belongs. It was still a bit surreal.

(3) Our mice have not been successfully integrated; we've made several attempts, and the last ended in a bad squabble wherein Yelena's tail got nipped. So, we're giving up on that. It's too much stress for the poor thing. We want her to not be lonely, but she's too neurotic to adapt to the other mice, and so this is the best we can do.

(4) My partner has started Chantix in a last-ditch effort to quit smoking. This is the first time he's made it past 36 hours without a cigarette in any attempt he's ever made--not a single one--and though he's miserable, it's working. The pills cause nausea and mood swings, but if it makes this work, then he's willing to suffer through it. We desperately need to save the money, and it's also necessary before we head to the UK, where that stuff's even more expensive. He's been smoking for nearly a decade, so it's not a simple process, but I'm glad it's at least seeming to work so far. Fingers crossed.

(5) And lastly: I'm continuing to get more and more caught up with every passing day. I am pleased, and cannot wait for a break from crushing deadlines.

britmandelo @ 2013-04-28T16:01:00

2013-04-28T20:01:23Z

This is the last week of my two-day split; since Tuesday is my final day at the dayjob for the semester, I'll be shifting to a three day split, and I've got the routines all laid out. I am deeply pleased that I'll be able to do three days, finally--that's optimal, and lets me spend more effort and time on target for various muscle groups. I'll also likely try to start doing 4 sets of every exercise, as opposed to my current 4-on-mains, 3-on-auxileries. Also, push harder. I know I'm not scaling up my auxiliaries at the pace that I could (or should!) be.

Monday

12:30 treadmill --> 2min 5.8mph, 10:30min 3.5mph
4x10 squats, 45lbs
3x5 hanging knee raise
4x7 push press, 50lbs
1x10 step-up
3x10 leg curls, 45lbs
3x10 leg extension, 65lbs
2x15 calf raises (Smith machine)
2x8, 1x7 preacher curls (wide grip), 30lbs
3x10 delt raise (DB), 10lbs
2x10 rear delt row (DB), 10lbs
3x10 triceps cross (DB), 10lbs
2x10 curls (DB), 10lbs

Friday

12:30 treadmill --> 3min 5.7mph, 9:30min 3.5mph [3 minutes is my longest nonstop run yet!]
4x7 (+2) bench press, 75lbs
3x5 pull-up, 100lbs resistance
3x5 chest dip, 100lbs resistance
1x7, 1x5, 2x7 deadlift, 65lbs
3x10 compound row, 80lbs
3x10 crunches
3x10 lying leg-hip raise
3x20 oblique twists

britmandelo @ 2013-04-26T10:29:00

2013-04-26T14:28:59Z

This so does not reflect all of what I've been reading--lots of magazines for the Short Fiction Spotlight column, a boatload of essays and articles during the end of the semester, etc.--but it's the closest I've got.

21. "The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction," Jan/Feb & March/April, edited by Gordon van Gelder
22. "Cane" by Jean Toomer
23. "She" by H. Rider Haggard
24. " The Little Magazine Others and the Renovation of Modern American Poetry" by Suzanne Churchill
25. "I, Pierre Riviere, Having Slaughtered My Mother, My Sister, and My Brother…: A Case of Parricide in the 19th Century" edited by Michel Foucault
26. "Spin State" by Chris Moriarty (Reviewed, here.)
27. "Spin Control" by Chris Moriarty (Review forthcoming.)

I cannot even explain how much I'm looking forward to being able to just read what I want to read again. It's such a rare pleasure.

1. "Transgender History" by Susan Stryker
2. "Origin of Species" by Charles Darwin; abridged by Phillip Appleman
3. "Female Masculinity" by J. Jack Halberstam
4. "Blood Oranges" by Kathleen Tierney
5. "Piled Higher and Deeper, Volume 1" by Jorge Cham
6. "A Draft of XXX Cantos" by Ezra Pound
7. "A Perfect Blood" by Kim Harrison
8. "Ever After" by Kim Harrison
9. "The Time Machine" H. G. Wells
10. "The Island of Doctor Moreau" by H. G. Wells
11. "Spring and All" by William Carlos Williams
12. "The Waste Land" by T. S. Eliot (Norton Critical Edition)
13. "Piled Higher and Deeper, Volume 2" by Jorge Cham
14. "In a Queer Time and Place: Transgender Bodies, Subcultural Lives" by J. Jack Halberstam
15. "Tender Buttons" by Gertrude Stein
16. "Reinventing Africa: Museums, Material Culture and Popular Imagination" by Annie E. Coombes [selections for class]
17. "Queen Victoria's Book of Spells" edited by Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling
18. "Missionary Travels" by David Livingstone
19. "Shattered Pillars" by Elizabeth Bear
20. "The Ocean at the End of the Lane" by Neil Gaiman
21. "The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction," Jan/Feb & March/April, edited by Gordon van Gelder
22. "Cane" by Jean Toomer
23. "She" by H. Rider Haggard
24. " The Little Magazine Others and the Renovation of Modern American Poetry" by Suzanne Churchill
25. "I, Pierre Riviere, Having Slaughtered My Mother, My Sister, and My Brother…: A Case of Parricide in the 19th Century" edited by Michel Foucault
26. "Spin State" by Chris Moriarty
27. "Spin Control" by Chris Moriarty

britmandelo @ 2013-04-24T09:18:00

2013-04-24T13:18:10Z

I am, a little bit at a time, catching up--and starting to feel like a person again. The last of the big papers has been written and turned in. I've knocked out one of the three late book reviews I'm trying to finish off. I've gotten back to reading slush at a reasonable pace again, for the magazine. My moods are still up and down like a bouncy-ball, sure. But there seems to be a trend toward "less neurotic and paranoid" as opposed to "more," and I'm all for that.

The semester's completely over as of April 30th. I've wrapped up my classes and I just have to make it through one more week of work. Then, a rest. One that I genuinely, desperately need. I'd like to be producing fiction again by the end of the summer, but the only way to get from here to there is to take some time to recuperate. So, that's what I'll do.

britmandelo @ 2013-04-20T10:02:00

2013-04-20T14:02:24Z

The semester is rolling inexorably toward its conclusion. I'm digging my way out from under my workload and trying very hard to maintain some semblance of composure while I do so. Tomorrow, I'll be revising a large term paper; at the moment, I'm trying to catch up on all of the other work I've let slip over the past month--late book reviews in particular.

As for training, this was a mediocre week, though it had its stronger points. Monday was decent, I skipped Wednesday to have dinner during my dinner break (damn my need to consume sustenance), and Friday was almost a total wash.

Monday
1x10 step-up
1x16 back squat 45lbs
1x12? back squat 45lbs
3x7 push-press, 50lbs
1x7 push-press, 45lbs
1x10 step-up
3x10 delt raise, 12.5lbs dumbbells
3x10 hanging knee raise
3x10 leg curl, 45lbs
2x15 calf raise (Smith machine)
3x8 tricep cross 10lbs dumbbells

[The goal for Monday was to do two sets of squats to failure, to adapt my brain/body more to what that feels like--so I know where the danger zone is, how to keep standing it up when fatigued, etc. I still have a bit of a mental block when it comes to squats. They unnerve me. Therefore, I must defeat the part of me that finds them unnerving by showing it that nothing bad is going to happen. (I still get that strange danger-vertigo sensation when I'm about to sit back, like I'm going to jump off a roof.)]

Friday
12:30min treadmill --> 2min 5.8mph, 10:30min 3.5mph
4x7 deadlift 55lbs
4x7 bench press 70lbs
1x5 pull-up 100lbs resistance
1x5 chest dip 100lbs resistance

[And that was right about when I had a monster cramp in my shoulder, well down into my triceps. I was fairly certain I might have actually pulled something at the time, so I made a safety call and stopped to go get some ibuprofen and ice it down. The good news: it wasn't a sprain or pull, just a beastly cramp, because it's only a little sore and tight this morning.]

britmandelo @ 2013-04-13T14:31:00

2013-04-13T18:32:10Z

This week has been a sort of form-clinic week, where my training partner has started tweaking my not-great form on some things, particularly the bench press. While my form isn't dangerous or too hideous on anything, it's also a long damn way from being good or solid; that, as we all know, takes practice, correction, and building the muscle control and strength to maintain more strict positions. I've known to keep my shoulders back and my gut tight on the bench press, but now I'm working on grounding my feet and keeping my back arched/my legs tight while also keeping shoulders back and core solid. That's a strain, but the bar sailed up easier than it ever has before, so it clearly makes a difference. (Also, no twinges in my elbow, which had become an issue recently.)

Oh, and I lost some skin on my palms to the deadlift this week. Just a little friction at the wrong moment, oops. Also, because of my illness-induced rest week, the days for my split have flipped.

Monday

2x10 back squats, 45lbs
2x6 back squats, 45lbs
3x5 hanging knee raise
1x10 step-up + incline pushups
2x10 step-up
2x15 calf raise w/ Smith machine
4x6 +1 push press, 50lbs
3x10 dumbbell delt raise 12.5lbs
1x10 rear dumbbell delt row 12.5lbs
3x11 preacher curl (narrow grip), 20lbs
2x10 leg extension, 65lbs
2x10 leg curl, 45lbs

[I ate dinner during Wednesday's dinner hour, so. No Wednesday.]

Friday
20min treadmill --> 17min 3.5mph, 2min 5.8mph, 1min 5.8mph
1x7 bench press 55lbs
1x6 bench press 65lbs
1x7, 1x6 bench press 70lbs
2x5 pull-ups 100lbs resistance
2x5 chest dips 100lbs resistance
1x5 pull-ups 110lbs resistance
1x5 chest dips 110lbs resistance
3x7 incline bench press 55lbs
3x10 compound row, 80lbs
2x10 incline crunches
4x6 deadlift, 55lbs
1x10 incline crunches
2x20 oblique twists w/ bar
2x11 lying leg-hip raises

britmandelo @ 2013-04-11T23:09:00

2013-04-12T03:09:31Z

I am In The Weeds with the end of the semester, the reviews of books I owe, the column series I have to keep writing, etc. There is a detailed schedule from here to approximately April 30; I have to stick to it like hell or there will be Trouble.

I did, at least, schedule in a night out tomorrow to offer me stress-relief.

Oh, and I went and got a Rachel Maddow-esque haircut today. I feel much lighter and less shaggy. Maybe that means I'm ready to plow on through the deadlines and get shit taken care of. (Which seems to become harder and harder every time I have to do it. Hello, burnout, my old friend.)

britmandelo @ 2013-04-07T10:36:00

2013-04-07T14:36:13Z

One thing that has remained consistent for more than two weeks, so I feel like I can actually say it: while I'm more concerned with fat loss than "weight" loss, I have officially knocked off between fifteen and twenty pounds. It's always at least fifteen; but if I compare my heaviest day before starting the fitness thing to my lightest day now, it's around twenty.

And that's with added muscle mass.

Eating clean a good 65-75% of the time, combined with a regular and challenging gym routine, seems to be working for me. Plus, it just plain feels better.

*

I'm currently researching modernist experimental poetry in the little magazines, in particular the editorial work of Alfred Kreymborg at Others. I was having a nightmare of a time finding something to write about for my research on the general topic--until I realized that, hey, no one ever really writes about editors, and I damn well know the editor is the major force behind the magazine. Viola: a topic.

Once I've finished this research (ideally today though I'm still waiting on one last book to come in through inter-library loan), I get to start writing. The goal is to have this 20 pages finished by the end of next Sunday. That's my last major bit of writing for the semester; after that, there are only a few short assignments and wrap-up things to do. Mostly because I wrote the other "final" big project a month early, over the last two weeks. Because I'm tired of feeling under the gun, and I want to be finished.

britmandelo @ 2013-04-05T17:23:00

2013-04-05T21:22:48Z

Well, I got sick this week. I am still sick today. It's one of those delightful melanges that started as a sinus infection and spread into my tonsils, which are now just icky wounds for the most part. Instead of being at the gym, as I would like to be, I'm languishing on my couch trying to convince myself to Read More Research because This Paper is Due Very Soon.

If I had been blogging more over the past week or four, it would have consisted mostly of me discussing: my existential dread; how a an associate and I have decided to write a new theory about the way that academia today is scooping out the desires and dreams of young things like us with a melon-baller and leaving us wallowing in fear and loathing; how I actually thought I had hit my worst stage of burnout a year ago but this might be significantly worse; and, related, how it feels to be grinding the bare gears of my brain down until I am incapable of formulating an argument about anything because I cannot care any more. My creative faculties, already scraping by in recent months (years, now, actually, oh dear god), feel about as blistered and unresponsive as my tonsils.

And we see why there has been less blogging, yes?

Instead, have a truncated log for this week. Because dammit, sick.

Monday
20min treadmill --> 2min 5.8 mph, 3x1min 5.8mph, 15min 3.5mph [More intervals means progress! I also threw up after this, though. Likely the result of eating too soon before the gym. Also, running is hard.]
2x5 pull-up, 100lbs resistance
2x5 pull-up, 110lbs resistance
2x5 chest dip, 100lbs resistance
2x5 chest dip, 110lbs resistance
4x7 (+1) bench press, 65lbs
4x6 deadlift (machine), 50lbs
3x10 incline crunches [I changed my rep count after being told it was pretty silly to count two crunches as only one just because of the mild oblique twist at the top. Which, yeah.]
3x10 compound row, 80lbs
3x10 incline bench press, 45lbs [Fatiguing, but wanted to get this in, so: fast as opposed to heavy.]
3x20 oblique twists w/ light bar
3x8 lying leg-hip raise

Wednesday

15min treadmill -->14min 3.5mph, 1min 5.8mph
5x3 deadlift, 45lbs [With the bar! I have graduated from the machine. Now, perfecting form before adding weight until it matches my actual strength capabilities.]

I was already sick as of Tuesday evening, but we had scheduled in learning the bar deadlift for Wednesday, so damned if I was skipping it. And no Friday. Though if I've improved in health at all by tomorrow morning, I might make a special Saturday trip up to the campus to get my workout in. (Past-me, by the way, is absolutely amazed at how much I want to work out on a regular basis.)

britmandelo @ 2013-03-30T22:28:00

2013-03-31T02:28:21Z

So, as the nominees were announced today, I can say it in public: Strange Horizons is a nominee for the Hugo for Best Semiprozine! I'm glad it's for 2012, the year where the current team came on board and the prior editors finished up their terms, so everyone gets a bit of recognition for the work they've done.

Overall, it's been a great year for me at the magazine, and I'm continually glad I accepted the editorial position.

britmandelo @ 2013-03-30T16:54:00

2013-03-30T20:54:31Z

This Monday was a weak day due to a minor injury mid-routine, but I caught up during dinner hour Wednesday and then had an excellent day Friday.

Monday
25min treadmill--> 21min 3.5mph, 2x2min 5.8mph
4x6 (+3) bench press, 65lbs
4x7 deadlift (machine), 40lbs
2x7, 1x4 incline bench press, 60lbs [tweaked wrist hard on rep#5]
3x6 pull-up, 120lbs res
3x6 chest dips, 120lbs res
1x10 compound row, 65lbs [about here, my wrist began to swell and my grip more or less gave out entirely; what I had thought was just maybe a muscle spasm during incline bench was clearly a mild injury]
4x2, incline crunch w/ oblique twist [each rep is one tap to each side of the pads with opposite hand--so, two crunches per rep]
1x5 leg-hip raise
1x10 oblique bar twists

So, that day was clearly not great. The swelling and increasing throbbing in my wrist rendered even my waist-muscle-group motions weak; pain will do that. We called it after my training partner got a good look at my wrist, went to get some ice from the desk, and said we were stopping for my own good. It's not that I don't listen to my body--I do! But when it's a very mild hurt, it's often hard for me to tell what's a "stop" injury and what's a "push through" discomfort. Second opinions are always helpful for this sort of thing.

Wednesday
15min treadmill-->13min 3.5mph, 2min 5.8mph
3x10 compound row, 80lbs
3x10 shrug (machine), 20 lbs
3x3 pull-up, 100lbs res
3x3 chest dip, 100lbs res
3x4 incline crunch w/ oblique twists aka, 3x8 incline crunches]

This was the catch-up day for the exercises that were either skipped or performed poorly on Monday. The wrist was fine by then.

Friday
12:30min treadmill-->11:30min 3.5mph, 1min 5.8mph
4x5 back squats, 45lbs [HAH.]
1x2, 3x4 hanging knee-hip raise
1x10 step-up w/ incline pushup on box
1x10 step-up
1x7 push-press, 45lbs
3x6 push-press, 50lbs
2x arm supersets:
--1x12 cable tricep pull-down @ 60lbs, 1x12 @ 50lbs, 1x12 underhand ctpd @ 40lbs
--1x25 reclining bicep curls w/ dumbbells, 7.5lbs each
--1x12 cable tricep pull-down @ 50lbs, 1x12 @ 40lbs, 1x12 underhand ctpd @ 30lbs
--1x20 reclining bicep curls w/ dumbbells, 7.5lbs each
2x15 block calf raises w/ Smith bar
3x10 delt raise 10lbs dumbbells
3x10 leg extension, 65lbs
3x10 leg curl, 45lbs
3x10 preacher curl (wide grip), 20lbs

And there we are. That's more like it. Training partner watched my first set of squats, and we seem to have fixed the problems, though I needed a little prompting to get deeper and feel exactly where/what below-parallel is like. I also had him spot the last set; my core gets a little shaky after lots of squats, and I wanted to be sure I could stand it up on the last few without messing up my posture. The answer was yes.

Then, the next best surprise of Friday. Long ago, when we started this thing, my training partner had not quite grasped my starting deficit. So we tried hanging leg-hip raises. And by tried, I mean realized once I tried to hang from a bar that I was going to dislocate my shoulders or something terrible because I had no internal muscle support.

Reader, I can now sustain a dead hang with my shoulders locked and supported. And not only can I do the dead hang, I can sustain it through a few reps of a knee-hip raise (targeting hip flexors and lower, internal abdominals to improve my squats). The problem with doing more was actually my grip--the friction on the inside of my palms was starting to tear one of my calluses. But, I can work on that!

I am pleased.

britmandelo @ 2013-03-27T09:36:00

2013-03-27T13:36:25Z

After some research, and a trip to the vet for our remaining mouse Yelena, we decided it was time to get her some companions. They're not solitary creatures, mice; they'll get lonely by themselves. But, introducing new ones is a challenge and takes a bit of careful time and effort. To start with, we had to find a good pair of companions.

Except, when we get to the pet store, they only had three, and we very much didn't want to split up the last three sisters in a colony. So, we got all three: two blues and a champagne. (Mice are four dollars, so. This was not a huge expense.) For now, they're in their in small separate house, on the table next to Yelena's house. After a day or two of having them near each other, we'll introduce them in a neutral space, watch for any fighting--and hook the houses up, once it seems like the coast is clear.

I do hope they get along. A lonely mouse is just super-sad. (We also have a friend who'll likely be taking them when we leave the country, who is very fond of small cute things, solving another problem.)

*

As I tweeted earlier this week, I finally bought some shoes for lifting/mixed-modality/not-running: they're Reebok CrossFit Nano 2.0s. I desperately didn't want to give in to the marketing, but of all the minimalist shoes I tried on, the Nanos were by far the best for my needs. They do have a slight heel, unlike most minimalist shoes, which gives me excellent traction while lifting and helps ground my feet for balance; they're also amazingly flexible and fit like a glove, which helps me do things like step-ups, etc. Oh, and they let my toes spread slightly in the wide toe-box--also good for lifting and balance. Monday was a deadlift day, and I can safely say that it was about 10x easier with the right kind of shoes on. Also, no foot cramps! No loss of balance!

I did have to fight with the shoe clerk at the sporting goods store a little about the fact that I wanted to buy men's shoes, but seriously, they don't offer the flat black color combination in women's. Those options were predominantly pink, purple, and covered in CrossFit motivational catch-phrases. No, thank you.

britmandelo @ 2013-03-23T10:52:00

2013-03-23T14:51:42Z

This may or may not be helpful/interesting, but I notice plenty of folks blogging their routines & performance, so. I think I'll start doing that, behind cuts, for those readers who could really care less about what my bench is, hah. I do keep a thorough journal for myself, but I enjoy reading other people's routines, and contributing to the trend seems neat.

This was a lighter week in many ways, due to some knee problems I've been having since the prior week. Also, immediately post-Spring Break, the gym has been overrun and getting to the racks ahead of other people has been, ahem, difficult.

[+x after a set means extra reps on the last set; that's how I usually judge when it's time to up weight.]

Monday
25min treadmill 3.5mph [light day for knee pain]
4x5 incline bench press, 55 lbs
4x6 pull-ups, 120lbs resistance
3x6 chest dips, 120 lbs resistance
3x10 compound row, 65 lbs
3x6 + 3 bench press, 65 lbs [generally would have started with this, done 4 sets; gym was packed though]
3x7 deadlifts (machine), 30lbs
3x6 incline leg-hip raise (poor-to-middling)
1x6 twisting crunch
1x10 oblique twists w/ bar

Wednesday [snuck this in; I usually don't have a free dinner hour]
25min treadmill --> 22min 3.5 mph, 1minx2 5.5mph, 1min 5.8mph
pull-up 1RM check: 1 @ 100lbs res., 1 @ 90lbs res., 1 @ 80lbs res.
3x10 machine crunch, 65 lbs
2x1 pull-up, 80lbs
15 calf raises on block
1 full incline crunch [testing core strength gains]

Friday
12:30treadmill 3.5mph
3x10 step-up + incline push-ups on box
2 sets, arm superset:
--cable tricep pull-down, 12 @ 60lbs, 12 @ 50lbs, [switch underhand] 12 @ 40lbs
--dumbbell curls, incline bench, 25 @ 7.5lbs
--cable tricep pull-down, 12 @ 50lbs, 12 @ 40lbs, [switch underhand] 12 @ 30lbs
--dumbbell curls, incline bench, 19 @ 7.5lbs
4x6 +1 push press, 45lbs
1x3, 1x5, 1x3, 1x6 squats, 45lbs [+a few fuckups & no reps]
3x10 leg press, 160lbs
2x15 calf raise
3x10 delt raise (dumbbell), 10lbs
light leg extension/curls [stretching right knee]

britmandelo @ 2013-03-22T19:30:00

2013-03-22T23:30:06Z

I waited to make this post, because I knew that a trip to the gym would help me process some emotions: one of our lovely mice, Channon, died over the night. Her sister--yup, her name is Yelena--had buried her in the shavings that fill their cage and was snuggled up to that pile of shavings when Brandon found them this morning. Which is, you know, perfectly heartbreaking. I still had to go to work, so he took care of the burial after I left.

I was distraught enough that my director said, after half of the day, I should probably just go. And to the gym I went, to give me something else to focus on.

I got back to learning squats today. The extremely poor rep from last Friday was still very much in my head. I was psyching myself out. First, we had me do one or two to diagnose; on the second, I tipped backwards, slammed into the squat rack (this is why I hold the bar on my traps, folks), and bruised the shit out of myself. Then, my training partner had an aha moment: I was trying to keep my chest far too high, as if I were doing front-squats, which was fucking my center of balance up. Badly. So, with a little bit of touch-cueing and instruction, I got my chest position right: a slight lean forward, keeping the bar over my arches.

Then, after a few closely spotted reps, I was getting the feel for it again. The fear and the nerves started melting away; they were half of the problem, anyway. My partner stepped back to watch me from the side, and I got a full set of five in. Also, learning the cue to drive my heels into the floor ("push the floor, not the bar") helped with the balance issues. Then, another couple of small sets. I'm still going to need close spotting and correction for the next few squat days, to make sure I memorize the muscle cues right to get deep enough, keep my knees right, etc. But we're getting there.

britmandelo @ 2013-03-19T19:58:00

2013-03-19T23:59:29Z

The Strange Horizons Readers' Poll results were announced a bit ago, here. As for the fiction department, our readers' top five stories were:

(1) "Comes the Huntsman" by Rachel Acks
(2) "Tiger Stripes" by Nghi Vo
(3) "Feed Me the Bones of Our Saints" by Alex Dally Macfarlane
(4) "The Grinnell Method" by Molly Gloss
(5) "Good Hunting" by Ken Liu

I admit that I'm surprised "The Grinnell Method" didn't come farther up--but I do love all of the stories. I'm glad for their authors and for the preceding editorial team, who selected "Tiger Stripes" and "Feed Me the Bones of Our Saints."

In related news, today is the one-year anniversary of my officially joining the magazine. I can't believe it's already been a year; time flies when you're hideously busy, doesn't it?

britmandelo @ 2013-03-16T10:57:00

2013-03-16T14:58:22Z

Poor gym performance, yesterday. (Also, further bad car news, but that's a mess I don't want to go into at the moment.) While I did manage to run a full four minutes of my treadmill warmup, I then attempted to go straight to squats, and that was a bad choice. I entirely fucked up the first rep--bad form all over the place, uncooperative body--and, while trying to correct for the second with a little coaching, realized that I was excessively cold, clammy, and my hands were tingling. I racked the weight and communicated that I thought I was about to pass out.

Cue fifteen minutes of sitting on a box, sweating and shivering, nauseous. Apparently, that is what happens when you overheat.

I never did get back to the squats. Disappointing. But, considering the soreness in my knees today from that one bad rep, it would have been ignorant to continue when I couldn't coerce my body into doing what it needed to do properly. I'm frustrated with myself for the difficulty I'm having getting the form correct with the barbell, though I know that it is significantly different from air squats, and it makes sense that I have some practicing and correction to do before the I get the cues down. (Problem is that I'm not sitting back enough, and therefore am loading onto my knees in the worst possible way. It's as if I can't convince my body that we're not going to fall if we sit back properly, now that there's weight involved.)

Bah. I'll get there.

Books Read 2013

2013-03-13T16:40:12Z

I realized that I've been a little remiss in tallying books so far, this year. I'm keeping track! Just, somehow, forgetting to post about it. There's been a lot of reading for class, and for review, but I've managed to cram in some for-fun stuff as well. (I continue to enjoy Kim Harrison, for example.)

7. "A Perfect Blood" by Kim Harrison
8. "Ever After" by Kim Harrison
9. "The Time Machine" H. G. Wells
10. "The Island of Doctor Moreau" by H. G. Wells
11. "Spring and All" by William Carlos Williams
12. "The Waste Land" by T. S. Eliot (Norton Critical Edition)
13. "Piled Higher and Deeper, Volume 2" by Jorge Cham
14. "In a Queer Time and Place: Transgender Bodies, Subcultural Lives" by J. Jack Halberstam (Discussed, here.)
15. "Tender Buttons" by Gertrude Stein
16. "Reinventing Africa: Museums, Material Culture and Popular Imagination" by Annie E. Coombes [selections for class]
17. "Queen Victoria's Book of Spells" edited by Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling (Review, here.)
18. "Missionary Travels" by David Livingstone
19. "Shattered Pillars" by Elizabeth Bear (Review, here.)
20. "The Ocean at the End of the Lane" by Neil Gaiman (Review, here.)

1. "Transgender History" by Susan Stryker
2. "Origin of Species" by Charles Darwin; abridged by Phillip Appleman
3. "Female Masculinity" by J. Jack Halberstam
4. "Blood Oranges" by Kathleen Tierney
5. "Piled Higher and Deeper, Volume 1" by Jorge Cham
6. "A Draft of XXX Cantos" by Ezra Pound
7. "A Perfect Blood" by Kim Harrison
8. "Ever After" by Kim Harrison
9. "The Time Machine" H. G. Wells
10. "The Island of Doctor Moreau" by H. G. Wells
11. "Spring and All" by William Carlos Williams
12. "The Waste Land" by T. S. Eliot (Norton Critical Edition)
13. "Piled Higher and Deeper, Volume 2" by Jorge Cham
14. "In a Queer Time and Place: Transgender Bodies, Subcultural Lives" by J. Jack Halberstam
15. "Tender Buttons" by Gertrude Stein
16. "Reinventing Africa: Museums, Material Culture and Popular Imagination" by Annie E. Coombes [selections for class]
17. "Queen Victoria's Book of Spells" edited by Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling
18. "Missionary Travels" by David Livingstone
19. "Shattered Pillars" by Elizabeth Bear
20. "The Ocean at the End of the Lane" by Neil Gaiman

britmandelo @ 2013-03-10T17:03:00

2013-03-10T21:04:04Z

[This is going to be a post about food, eating, and physique. If these sorts of things are stressful for you, I don't recommend reading on.]

Three weeks after significantly altering my eating habits to be more in line with my nutritional needs and with the basic food-science stuff I've been reading up on, the results are pretty neat. I've ended up eating less, because I feel satisfied by the meals I've been consuming; the treats and sweets I have been eating taste about three times as awesome for their somewhat restricted availability; I have more energy and have been sleeping better; I seem to be experiencing significant growths in strength and endurance; my digestion is great (though it's never been terrible); I'm saving money by not cramming down fast food during my workday; etc. The list goes on.

I've also noticed some weird stuff that makes me wonder about the quality of what I was eating all the time before. For one, I tried to eat a sandwich from Arby's, recently, and it tasted bad to me: too salty, too chemical, kind of card-board-ish. It didn't taste like food. For another, processed candy has started to taste funny (the culprit in this case is Reese's). I even tried to have some take-out Chinese for lunch with my father today and it seemed horrifyingly greasy, though I've always liked that restaurant before. (Obviously, there are plenty of restaurant foods that still taste great, but most fast food had started to seem unappetizing.)

I didn't expect that much change, honestly. I'm doing it because I want to be healthier, but I didn't think it'd change my tastes, or how I feel, quite so much.

Also, though this owes equally to the gym, I caught sight of myself from a side angle in the mirror this morning and had to just stop for a second, because my belly--which has trended toward roundness for a couple of years now--doesn't paunch outward any more. Holy crap. I still have a fair layer of fat on my tummy, of course; ditto thighs and upper arms. But the curve that previously trended out from about an inch below my breasts and dipped back in at my hip line? Gone. Standing sideways, my torso silhouette now is closer to a straight line than I've seen it since I was nineteen. From the front, I have those little dips inward where my waist used to be, and hasn't been for, er, a while. Partially, I know, this is because the development of core muscles offers more support for my insides and more shaping to my torso. But partially it's because not eating fast food every day, and not living on sodas and cake, has been good for me. That likely means that I'm knocking out some vital fat, too, which is the kind that presages heart disease, etc. (And that's not even touching on the all-over muscle development, which thrills me beyond words.)

So, what have I been eating, primarily?

Well, I've replaced the starchy and/or high-carb, heavily processed side dishes that I used to eat with every meal--boxes pastas and rices, predominantly--with things like cottage cheese or a salad. I've cut out breads, excepting one or two meals out during the week where I might have a sandwich; instead, when I want something quick, I've been eating quality deli lunch meats with cheese, mixed greens, and the occasional bit of pickled vegetables. Instead of eating frozen meals, I've been making sure to cook fresh meat and vegetables so that I'll have leftovers that are appealing. Greek yogurt, granola, and granola/nut protein bars have been serving as breakfast and/or snacks. I've also been eating fresh fruit and oatmeal, occasionally. I still eat a cookie or two during the week, and I drink chai tea with milk in the mornings for a touch of sweetness.

And, for days where more carbs are perfectly acceptable because I'll be going to the gym, pasta primavera has become a staple: easy to take to work, easy to reheat, and full of delicious. I pack two separate tupperwares, one for the pasta and one for the veggies/sauce, and it makes for a nice simple lunch. Also, soups.

I'm not terribly strict, really. It's not a "diet." I just want to eat better, and feel better, and not consume my weight in unnecessary chemicals from the stuff I buy at the grocery. I wish I'd started doing this a long time ago, but I suppose it's never too late to work on my health, or my occasionally problematic relationship to food. Plus, oh my god feeling better is awesome. I didn't know my body could ever feel like this again: strong, competent, capable. I'm still below average on some things, and have to work around my old injuries, but I didn't think I'd ever be able to run again. Now, I'm running a few minutes in each workout. It trends up to more time each week, without the sharp stabbing pains in my knees and ankles and hips that I thought would be permanent. Slowly but surely, I'm healing, and getting better.

That's really something. And thanks, you guys, for reading along with this journey and not getting irritable with all of my fitness blogging.