I woke up with my brain reminding me that it will do what it likes with its chemistry, thank you very much. So, in an effort to not lay on the couch staring at the ceiling all day, I thought I'd go grab a cheap lunch. I'm not sure why I decided to go to Qdoba, since I'm not a fan, but I didn't want to drive very far. By the time I settled down at the table with my tacos, I realized one major reason I don't go there. The only other time I'd had a meal in this particular store was years ago--and that time, when we'd sat down with our dinner, my good friend Clayton had shown up, serendipitously. We shared food. It was nice.
This sort of thing happened a lot with Clayton; knowing each other since childhood and having a lot of similar tastes meant that our friendship was sustained down the years by running into each other at restaurants, work, etc.
Those of you who've been around a while have probably realized where this is going--because Clayton died, a little over a year ago. So, in my effort to cheer myself up, I managed to go to the one place that was going to slap me with loss, straight across the face. Needless to say, it didn't help. Finally, this evening, Brandon proposed I just go out and do some things that I enjoyed.
Sometimes, that's all it takes. I went to my favorite Chinese restaurant, puttered around a bookstore for an hour, and drove for a while. Took quiet, private time. I feel more settled now. Didn't accomplish much with the day, though.